One Of The Most Enjoyable Blogging Assignments That I've Had In A While :)

When I finished reading "Is That All He Thinks About?: How To Enjoy Great Sex With Your Husband" by Marla Taviano (@MarlaTaviano) I spent a day wondering, "Now, what will I share?" I thought about the typical review-style blog entry but I wasn't satisfied with that. You see, the topic of sex requires more. Since Marla, graciously wrote from transparency, I thought I'd follow suite.

Well, from the beginning Marla "read my mail." By the end of the first two chapters, she had PREACHED!!! and all I could do is repent and say "Yes, Lord..."  After making such a strong case, the rest of the book was supplementary, filled with tips, suggestions and insight on various marital situations.

I LOVED the way Marla broke down the need for sex from a male's perspective and how a wife is actually the only legal one that can meet a husband's need. The choice is ours: we can serve one another in love and kindness or overlook the very ingredient that God has given us for a intimate, fun and fulfilling marriage. She goes on to show how women can easily be distracted by other matters of life and overlook the solution to many of their marriage woes.

The book also spends time discussing Roadblocks to Great Sex, Orgasms, Understanding What Men Desire, Sex After Children and very practical tips on Relighting The Fire. I actually spent more time reading this book than planned because once I got "into it" I wanted to give the homework assignments all the attention that they needed ;) I got much more out of this book than I had ever planned. I even ended up counseling from it while I was reading it and the friend purchased the book immediately!

So, has my transparency intrigued you enough to want to go out and purchase the book? If so, well I have done my job. Kudos to Marla Taviano!!! Be sure to check out some of her other great titles, i.e., The Husband's Guide To Getting Lucky and From Blushing bride to Wedded Wife. More info about both can be found at http://www.marlataviano.com/ .

I think Marla's husband, Gabe Taviano (@GabeTaviano) endorses it the best: "Buy this book, read it, and do everything Marla says." You can also ask my husband, Joseph Huggins (@j2jhug) his thoughts about the book - I'm sure he will have rave reviews as well :)

Taking Your Place: Five Essentials For Those Who Will Shape The Future

Format: Hardcover

ISBN: 9781590525395

Release: 1.3.2006

Religion - Leadership

When selecting this title to review, I expected it to be a book specifically geared towards a youth leader working with teens. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that "Next Generation Leader" by Andy Stanley is actually a title on the topic of leadership itself.

Five characteristics that mark the man or woman who will shape the future are:

-Courage
-Clarity
-Competence
-Coachability
-Character

"Next Generation Leader" is a concise and well written book that draws from both Biblical principles and from some of today's top authorities on leadership. Stanley draws from both growing up as the son of a pastor and from his personal experience of leading one of the largest churches in America. I highly recommend "Next Generation Leader" to anyone wanted to make a lasting impact and leave a fruitful legacy.

Chapter 1 can be read here.

Purchase:

WaterBrook Multnomah

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

Author's Website

Author's Twitter Page

Radical Together: Unleashing the People of God for the Purpose of God

Radical Together by David Platt is a 176 pg. treatise that champions its readers to follow the clear teachings of the Word of God to care for the poor and reach the lost. It is a clarion call for churches across the world to take back their faith from the American Dream.

The product description says, "Dr. Platt shares six foundational ideas that fuel radical obedience among Christians in the church. With compelling Bible teaching and inspiring stories from around the world, he will help you apply the revolutionary claims and commands of Christ to your community of faith in fresh, practical ways."

These six foundational ideas are:
+The worst enemy of Christians is good things in the church.
+The gospel that saves us from work saves us to work.
+The Word does the work.
+Building the right church depends on using all the wrong people.
+We are living -and longing -for the end of the world.
+We are selfless followers of a self-centered God.

Radical Together is an excellent road map that leads its readers back to the understanding the Word of God and doing what Jesus really called us to do.

Chapters include:
1. Tyranny Of The Good
2. The Gospel Misunderstood
3. God Is Saying Something
4. The Genius Of Wrong
5. Our Unmistakable Task
6. The God Who Exalts God

Chapter 1 can be read here:

Purchase:

WaterBrook Multnomah

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

Borders

Watch video:

Author's Website

Authors' Facebook Page

Authors' Twitter Page

The Cause Within You By Matthew Barnett & George Barna

The Cause within You: Finding the One Great Thing You Were Created to Do in This World by Matthew Barnett and George Barna is an excellent cure all for boredom blues. This is a terrific book that aims at helping the reader find purpose, renewed passion and peace with God.

Topics explored are:
-Finding your great cause
-Overcoming the inevitable obstacles related to leading a cause-focused life
-Preparing to make the most of your cause-related opportunities
-Making a personal commitment to the cause
-Getting the job done
-Working in partnership with others
-Persevering through the dry times and the down cycles
-Experiencing the pleasures and rewards of living for your God-given cause
-Reveling in the peace with God that's fostered by your cause

Chapters 4-10 end with a section entitled "What I've Learned" recapping the heart and meat of each chapter. This book also contains section of Related Scripture Passages and a Discussion Guide.

If you are open to discovering the unique cause within you, then The Cause Within You is the book for you!

Images Of God For Young Children by Marie-Helene Delval

Images Of God For Young Children is a well-written yet weighty children's book. The authors states that "it is appropriate for children while remaining faithful to the spirit of the biblical texts." Each set of two pages explores a concept of God. They are: breath, light, night, the word, silence, secret, our tears, joy, a spring, a rock, a stream, the root, wind, a path, fire, a fortress, a promise, strength, wisdom, deliverance, a covenant, a mystery, beauty, justice, holiness, peace, mercy, love, a shepherd, a king, a healer, a friend, a savior, majesty, smallness, a face, a parent, bread, life, and with us. The whimsical artwork contained within expresses each of these attributes perfectly.

Your Spouse Is Not Your Enemy

Love & War: Devotional For Couples by John & Stasi Eldredge is a 134 pg. 8-week devotional that champions its readers to remember that married love is worth fighting for. What sets Love & War apart from other marriage devotionals is that it focuses on the fact that couples participate in a modern day love story that is set in the midst of war therefore they must first allow God to mend their brokenness and then find their completeness in Him, not one another. Doing this will then help husbands and wives find what the authors call "generosity of spirit", the ability to let the little things go and become more adept at giving love. Love & War: Devotional For Couples is an excellent resource that is chock full of scriptures and wisdom for busy couples to embrace and use to spark spirituality and intimacy in their relationship.

Chapter Titles Include:
Introduction
Week One: Remembering What We Wanted
Week Two: The Two Shall Become One
Week Three: The Journey
Week Four: Companionship:
Week Five: Your Spouse Is Not Your Enemy
Week Six: The Little Foxes
Week Seven: Increasing Intimacy
Week Eight: The Most Excellent Way

Chapter 1 can be read here.

Purchase:

WaterBrook Multnomah

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

Borders



Authors' Website

Authors' Facebook Page

Authors' Twitter Page

Notes from the Hedges Study Guide by John Perrodin

The following are notes taken from the study guide at the end of the book.. This is information shared by John Perrodin and not my own original content.

Chap. 1 The Tangled Web

Investing the emotional energy and time on another individual other than your spouse is inappropriate.

Pam’s 5 Reasons For A Life-long Marriage:
1. To honor God
2. Because I Love My Husband
3. Because I Love My Children
4. I Enjoy Being Married
5. To Advance the Kingdom of God (That others may desire marriage, establish strong families and refuse alternative lifestyles that are destructive to the Kingdom.)

Chap. 2 The Changing Climate

You can be married for years and still develop a crush on someone.

Don’t treat a new friend of the opposite sex the way you treat an old, respected friend. Refrain from touching them, being alone with them, flirting with them (even in jest), or saying anything to them you wouldn’t say if your spouse of God were there.

Married people should be very careful of relationships with members of the opposite sex.

We must plant hedges well in advance of even meeting someone else. Hedges nip marriage threatening relationships before they get started.

Women, in record numbers are cheating on their husbands. Why? They are often ignored by busy husbands and find companionship with lonely, unattached men, unless well-tended hedges are in place.

A person with as perfect a spouse as one could ever want is till capable of lust. A senseless seeking of lust can destroy both individuals and their families. If a person does not fear his own potential and construct a hedge around himself and his marriage, he heads for disaster.

Chap. 3 Don’t Blame God

Sexual temptation can overwhelm us before we know it. The Bible instructs us to flee youthful lusts (2 Tim 2:22). Our only hope is to run and get away from the situation.

Only by understanding mutual weaknesses can a husband and wife truly help each other overcome the shame and pain of personal points of temptation. Confess to your spouse privately and be blunt about your struggles. Pray together for strength and talk about what makes it easier (or more difficult) to resist temptation.

An adulterous relationship based purely on appearance is shallow and ultimately meaningless. If we exalt appearance over substance, we pervert the natural attraction between the sexes that God planned.

Chap. 4 The Dynamics of Flirtation

Extra-marital flirting is mental and emotional unfaithfulness. It is exercising a portion of your brain and soul that should be reserved for your exclusive lover.

Our time and money should go toward keeping our own relationship vibrant, not diffused and diverted by flirting with someone else.

Marital flirting (with your spouse) is no different than adolescent flirting – only everything you’re thinking about and hoping will come of it is legal, normal, acceptable and beautiful. Marital flirting is fun and safe.

Flirting can be a good and natural part of a person’s progression toward true love. God made us able to respond emotionally and physically to attention from the opposite sex.

Share heart to heart, with your spouse, the concerns you have about family, friends or co-workers who push the line of propriety.

If you have acted inappropriately, talk to your spouse about the situation and how you can avoid it in the future. You made a sacred vow to remain pure for your spouse.

Chap. 5 The Biblical Basis For Hedges

We don’t have the right to have someone of the opposite sex as a close friend when we are married. It slowly kills our spouse.

Find ways that you can set an example of purity and faithfulness that will have a lasting impact on others.

If the Bible puts adultery in the same class as murder, it is a threat not only to our marriage, but also to our very lives.

Chap. 6 The Power Of Self-Deception

Self-deception and rationalization will keep one from maintaining the hedges around their heart. The pattern will repeat itself as long as the individual refuses to flee. There is no other defense or option.

Couples often feel they are too busy to pray together.

We need to acknowledge our problem areas. Why do couples construct facades rather than looking at each other eye-to-eye. Can we really hide who we are from ourselves, others or God?

The only future in self-deceit is ruin. Take time to share with your spouse your weaknesses regarding sexual temptations.

Chap. 7 Two’s Company; Three’s Security

If we abstain from even the appearance of evil, we will also abstain from evil itself.

Meetings with the opposite sex should only take place in public or with at least one other person present. That provides protection for everyone involved, first for their reputations and finally against temptation.

Abstaining from even the appearance of evil has fallen into disfavor in certain Christian circles. Many prefer to dwell on their freedoms rather than hemming themselves in.

It takes discipline but we can set patterns of faithfulness that protect our marriages.

There is something personal and even intimate about eating with someone. It’s a time to relax, to sit close and to open up. Intimate conversation over a delicious dinner can open your heart and soul to your companion. Such setting might lower inhibitions and allow for inappropriate topics between co-workers or even strangers.

It’s easy to morph into someone we’re not when away from home. The price of suspicion is high, and the price of infidelity is even higher.

Chap. 8 Touchy, Touchy!

Humans need companionship. That’s why the power of touch can be so overwhelming.

If touch isn’t an issue with you, be sensitive to the attitudes and interpretations of those you choose to touch. Others may have weaknesses that you do not. It’s not always appropriate to embrace even a Christian of the opposite sex. For some, such openness to touching and hugging can be a problem.

What began as a spiritual expression of brotherly and sisterly love has ended in vulnerability and even an affair leading to ended marriages or pre-marital sex.

Chap. 9 Some Compliments Don’t Pay

Protect the hedge of marital intimacy. If nothing else, divorce can be financially crushing.

The surest way to ward off inappropriate come-ons and to protect your marriage is by openly acknowledging and proclaiming your love for your spouse.

Honest encouragement is one of the best ways a husband or wife can lead a spouse to “pursue what is good.” (1 Thess 5:12-18) Commit to improve how you offer praise and tender advice.

Be careful that compliments about others don’t cross the line.

Chap. 10 Looking Down The Barrel Of A Loaded Gun

Flattery, flirtation, suggestive jesting and what we say to our own spouses are all shades of the same color. Words can thrill, delight, entice and excite. Beware of the power of the tongue.

The real danger of flirtation comes when you pretend to be teasing but you would really love to do just what you’re suggesting.

Get down to some serious flirting with your spouse. Incorporate caring signs of affection into your daily relationship.

Chap. 11 Memories

Repeating your wedding vows frequently allows couples to better understand and reflect upon what they promised before God, friends and each other.

Vows are meant to be honored, becoming more solid and treasured over time.

Imagine what a spouse who has taken back a partner who slept with another must go through to enjoy the marriage bed again.

Chap. 12 Quality Time vs. Quantity Time

Strive to provide a model of love and caring and interdependence for your children. Show them what it means to make and keep a commitment, to set out on a lifetime of love with no wavering, no excuses, and no me-first philosophies. Your actions will speak volumes.

Children grow up so quickly. Unless we savor our time with them, one day we’ll wake up regretting our selfishness.

Chap. 13 Everybody Loves A Love Story

Recall the details of your early love. The longer you go without doing it, the easier it is to forget. By retelling our stories over and over through the years, we solidify in our minds the things that attracted us to our mates in the first place. That’s a powerful, positive way to nurture romance.

Humor can keep a couple sane even during tough times.

Make your love story so familiar that it becomes part of the fabric of your being. It should become a legend shared through the generations. Grow a family tree that defies all odds and boasts marriage after marriage of stability, strength, and longevity.

Chap. 14 When Victory Comes

Note areas where you need to see the greatest improvement in your boundaries. Know yourself, understand the dangers in your weak areas, and do something practical and concrete about them.

Remind yourself why you want to remain true to your spouse. Go through family albums as a couple. Review pictures of your children, your happy home and the fun times you’ve shared. Renew your commitment to keeping this joy in your life by remaining fully faithful to one another. Seal your promise with a kiss.

Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough To Protect It by Jerry B. Jenkins

This is a very practical book that sheds insight on how to protect your marriage before trouble arises. The content of this book not only applies to the married but is also useful information for singles to apply to their relationships before marriage as well. The following are notes taken as I read the book. This is information shared by Jerry B. Jenkins and not my own original content.

Introduction

“No trespassing” should be the sign on every man and woman’s heart when it comes to the relationship God has given him or her to protect, honor, and cherish.

Psalm 89:40 implies that strongholds are brought to ruin when hedges are broken down. Job 1:10 implies that Job was so richly blessed – before God allowed him to be tested – because God had made a hedge “around him, around his household, and around all that he had on every side.”

Jesus told parables about landowners who planted vineyards and protected them with hedges. When those hedges wer trampled or removed, ruin came to the precious possessions of those landowners.

People are much more precious than land or holdings. If we can keep from deceiving ourselves about our own resolve and inner strength, we will see the need for healthy hedges that keep love in and infidelity out.

Part I: The Need For Hedges

No one thinks he needs hedges until it’s too late.

What are we to do when temptation rages? If we are weak and have not taken precautions, if we have not applied preventive medicine, we have already failed. The only answer is to plan, to anticipate danger, to plot the escape. The time to plant hedges is before the enemy attacks.

The Biblical Basis for Hedges:

• Leviticus 20:10 Adulterers are put to death.
• Matthew 5:27-28 Lust is adultery
• 1 Corinthians 10:13 People usually apply this verse too late.
• 2 Timothy 2:22 We are not to attack lust; we are to flee. This is the escape that comes with the temptation of lust.
• Psalm 89:40 implies that strongholds are brought to ruin when hedges are broken down.
• Job 1:10 implies that Job was so richly blessed – before God allowed him to be tested – because God had “made a hedge around him, around his household, and around all that he had on every side.”
• Jesus told parables about landowners who planted vineyards and protected them with hedges. When those hedges were trampled or removed, ruin came to the precious possessions of the landowners.

Part II: How to Start Planting

Here are pragmatic ways to guard ourselves against our weaknesses. We can plant hedges only after we have determined where they must grow.

Jerry’s Hedges:

Hedge No. 1:

Whenever I need to meet or dine or travel with an unrelated woman, I make it a threesome. Should an unavoidable last-minute complication make this impossible, my wife hears it from me first.

Hedge No. 2

I am careful about touching. While I might shake hands or squeeze an arm or a shoulder in greeting, I embrace only dear friends or relatives, and only in front of others.

Hedge No. 3

If I pay a compliment, it is on clothes or hairstyle, not on the person herself. Commenting on a pretty outfit is much different, in my opinion, than telling a woman that she herself looks pretty.

Hedge No. 4

I avoid flirtation or suggestive conversation, even in jest.

Hedge No. 5

I remind my wife often – in writing and orally – that I remember my wedding vows: ‘Keeping you only unto me for as long as we both shall live.” She is not the jealous type, nor has she ever demanded such assurances. She does, however, appreciate my rules and my observance of them.

Hedge No. 6

From the time I got home from work until the children went to bed, I did no writing or office work. That gave me lots of time with the family and for my wife and me to continue to court and date.

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. One of the greatest fears of childhood is abandonment. One can only imagine the impact of a broken marriage on a child.

Part III: What Hedges Can Do For Your Family

Telling your story, speaking openly of the hedges in your marriage, protecting yourself and your family from insidious new sources of unacceptable media, and truly practicing the Golden Rule at home will give your spouse and your children a deep sense of love and security.

What Believers Must Know to Grow

I. What’s So Important About Spiritual Growth?

II. Can I Be Sure Of My Salvation?
• Cease worrying about where you stand with Christ, and start making your life count for Him.
• Begin to grow from there!
• Memorize 1 John 5:11-13

III. When Does God Get Even?
• Accept God’s pardoning love.
• Now forgive yourself. Do that the same way our heavenly Father forgives you-by looking to the Cross.
• Memorize John 3:16 and Romans 8:1

IV. Why Am I Here?
• God’s purpose for you on earth is to know Christ and to make Him known.
• Get to know Jesus personally through His Word, the Bible. This is the most fulfilling relationship you’ll ever experience.
• With the Holy Spirit’s help, seek to introduce others to Christ so that they might know Him personally, too.
• For practical instruction in sharing your faith, enroll in an evangelism training class. These are usually offered in local churches.
• Read one or more of the books recommended at the end of this chapter.
• Memorize Acts 1:8

V. What Do You Mean, Fifteen Minutes a Day Will Change My Life?
• Set aside at least fifteen minutes each day to listen to God’s voice in the pages of Scripture.
• Proceed straight through the Bible, beginning with the New Testament in the Gospel of Matthew.
• Claim God’s promises.
• Obey God’s revealed will.
• Take seriously His warnings against sin.
• Find your wisdom for living in God’s Word.
• Learn from it how to trust the Lord for every problem, trial, and worry.
• Memorize 2 Timothy 3:16-17

VI. I Tried to Live for Christ, But It Didn’t Work
• Surrender yourself to the indwelling Christ.
• Make a conscious commitment each day to be a channel through which the Lord Jesus can bear His own fruit of holiness and love.
• Memorize Galatians 2:20

VII. Why Do I Feel Like a Walking Civil War?
• Feed the new nature and starve the old!
• Be disciplined in prayer.
• Soak your mind and heart in God’s Word.
• Memorize key verses of Scripture.
• Join a small-group Bible study.
• Cultivate fellowship and friendships with other Christians; avoid places people, and things that will interfere with your spiritual walk.

VIII. Aren’t All Christians the Same?
• There are two kinds of believers, the carnal and the spiritual. The carnal Christian is under the control of his old, sinful nature, while the spiritual Christian lives under the control of the Holy Spirit.
• The carnal Christian is dominated by his sinful nature.
• The carnal Christian is not growing
• The carnal Christian is a disappointment to Christ
• The carnal Christian is not a victorious believer.
• The spiritual Christian is fully surrendered to the power of the Holy Spirit.
• The spiritual Christian has the mind of Christ
• Submit to the indwelling Spirit’s control in your life.
• Allow him to dominate your personality.
• Consciously yield yourself every day to His holy influence.
• Memorize Galatians 5:22-23

IX. What’s the Difference Between Temptation and Sin?
• Temptation is a suggestion, and sin is a yielding to the suggestion.
• Christ withstood Satan’s temptations because He was filled with the Scriptures.
• Christ won victory over temptation because He was filled with the Spirit.
• Make use of the two weapons the Lord offers you – the Scriptures and the Holy Spirit.
• The Bible will give you wisdom to see through Satan’s schemes. Read it, study it, and commit parts of it to memory.
• The Holy Spirit will supply you with supernatural power to fight off temptation. So surrender yourself to His control.
• Memorize 1 Corinthians 10:13

X. Why Do My Prayers Seem to Bounce Off the Ceiling?
• #1. Vague requests
• #2. Unclaimed Scriptural Promises
• #3. Selfishness
• #4. Failure To Live in an Attitude of Prayer
• #5. Doubt that God Will Answer
• #6. Resistance to God’s Will
• Prayer is communication with God and therefore vital to your Christian growth.
• Pray specifically, claiming the Bible’s promises.
• Live in an attitude of prayer.
• Expect God to answer.
• Submit to His will.
• Memorize Jeremiah 33:3

XI. I Can Worship God at the Beach…Can’t I?
• The New Testament uses four metaphors to describe the church: the body, the bride of Christ, the branches of Christ, the building of Christ.
• The New Testament uses five metaphors for individual Christians: sheep who need to stay together in one flock, brothers and sisters who belong to the same household, soldiers who are active in God’s army, citizens who make up one kingdom, and priests who serve in the same temple.
• Look for a Christ-centered church that focuses on worshipping the Lord Jesus, not on entertaining the people.
• Look for a church that emphasizes the new birth in Christ.
• Look for a church that teaches and preaches the Word of God.
• Look for a loving church.
• Look for a church with a sense of mission.
• Don’t look for a perfect church – there’s no such thing.
• Become involved in a Christ-centered, evangelistic, Bible-based, loving outreaching church “on the grow.”
• Get to know its pastor and people.
• Support the church with your prayers, service, and finances.
• Memorize Hebrews 10:24-25

XII. Do I Have to Be Committed?
• A committed Christian lives for Jesus; an uncommitted one lives for himself.
• A committed Christian is self-disciplined to spend time alone with God every day in Scripture and prayer; an uncommitted one lacks that kind of discipline, and it shows in his life.
• A committed Christian makes a difference in other people’s lives; so does an uncommitted one, but instead of building others up, he becomes a stumbling block to them.
• A committed Christian grows in faith, knowledge, and love; an uncommitted one sinks into doubts, needless ignorance, and a feeling of indifference.
• Make a solemn vow that Christ will always have first place in your life.
• Pledge to be obedient to the Word of God, submissive to the will of God, and involved in the work of God – nothing less, nothing else, at any cost!
• Memorize Romans 12:1-2



As taken from the book What Believers Must Know To Grow by Tom Carter